Rating: NC-17 (Not my smut though.)
Summary: Birthday present for amybtvsfreak. She requested a fic about Rob & Kristen reading 50 Shades.
Notes: Super big hugs and ass slaps to allmannerofsins. Couldn’t have written this without you. Also, just in case a little bit of my bias comes across in my writing, I feel I should say that I flounced MOTU about 5 chapters in, and I’m way beyond being over this whole phenomenon that the “novel” has become. Bold text is from the book. I found the excerpt here. No copyright infringement intended. It’s not mine...
Disclaimer: I don’t own them,
When Kristen had said “Hell yeah!” when asked by the interviewer if she’d read 50 Shades of Grey, she hadn’t really had intentions of reading it.
But then it not-so-mysteriously showed up on her front step one day, wrapped in a big red bow. Written on a crumpled piece of paper in Tom’s scratchy handwriting was a note.
Kristen, I know I’ve been an absentee friend lately, so please consider this gift a peace offering. Have fun reading it with Robert.
Later that evening, Rob came home from a day of meetings to find Kristen sprawled out on the couch, eyes glued to the pages as she doubled over in fits of giggles.
“What’s so funny, love?” he asked, sitting down and pulling her into his lap.
“Remember me telling you about that fanfiction that got published as a book?”
He hummed in the positive as he kissed her cheek before taking the book from her hands.
“Tom had it sent over,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully.
“Well, let’s give your eyes a rest, shall we?” he said, moving the book so that he could view the page it was opened to.
“Oh, babe, I don’t know if you should...” she trailed off half-heartedly as he started to read.
“”When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.”” Rob dropped the book and raised his eyebrows at Kristen. “You’ve managed to read half of this book already? Is it all like this?”
Kristen wiped a tear of laughter from her face and went to grab the book back from him. “Yes, I’ve found it quite entertaining,” she insisted.
“No!” Rob cried, yanking the book back. “I’m curious now and want to see what kind of kinky wanker this guy is!”
“Fine,” she relented. “As long as you don’t get any ideas.”
He waggled his eyebrows playfully before returning to the book.
“”Err...yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.”
Kristen lets out an unladylike snort and Rob glares at her. She rolls her eyes and motions for her to continue.
“”Good.” He releases me and turns me around."
"“Hold onto the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.”
“Oooh, you have to go back and read that scene later. I almost peed myself,” Kristen erupted into giggles again.
“He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what!”
Rob’s eyes bulge out from his head and his face turns green. “Uh...maybe you’d better take over, Kris,” he mutters, thrusting the book back into her hands.
She chuckles, murmuring something about boys not being able to handle things, and takes the book from him.
“And... a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.”
“For Chrissakes, don’t they know you’re not supposed to flush those things?” Rob grumbles. “Hope this guy can afford a plumber.”
“Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all...Jeez. And then he’s inside me...ah! Skin against skin...moving slowly at first...easily, testing me, pushing me...oh my. I grip onto the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me.”
Kristen has to take a breath to control her oncoming giggle fit. Rob is trying, unsuccessfully, not to give into his laughter. “I don’t know whether to thank Tom for sending this or to send him some gay porn as payback,” he chuckles.
“Oh the sweet agony... his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm - in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me... oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.”
“Oh for the love of pete,” Rob grumbles. “He’s definitely getting gay porn.”
Kristen laughs before continuing on with the rest of the passage.
“”That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.
Whoa... and I come, loudly, gripping for dear life onto the sink as I spiral down through my orgasm, everything spinning and clenching at once. He follows, clasping me tightly, his front on my back as he climaxes and calls my name like it’s a litany or a prayer.”
Kristen sighs and tosses the book aside, turning to straddle Rob’s lap. “So, what do you think?” she asks, kissing his chin.
“That was...something else,” he finally said.
She sighed dramatically. “We’re not going to be having sex for awhile, are we?”
-FIN
But then it not-so-mysteriously showed up on her front step one day, wrapped in a big red bow. Written on a crumpled piece of paper in Tom’s scratchy handwriting was a note.
Kristen, I know I’ve been an absentee friend lately, so please consider this gift a peace offering. Have fun reading it with Robert.
Later that evening, Rob came home from a day of meetings to find Kristen sprawled out on the couch, eyes glued to the pages as she doubled over in fits of giggles.
“What’s so funny, love?” he asked, sitting down and pulling her into his lap.
“Remember me telling you about that fanfiction that got published as a book?”
He hummed in the positive as he kissed her cheek before taking the book from her hands.
“Tom had it sent over,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully.
“Well, let’s give your eyes a rest, shall we?” he said, moving the book so that he could view the page it was opened to.
“Oh, babe, I don’t know if you should...” she trailed off half-heartedly as he started to read.
“”When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.”” Rob dropped the book and raised his eyebrows at Kristen. “You’ve managed to read half of this book already? Is it all like this?”
Kristen wiped a tear of laughter from her face and went to grab the book back from him. “Yes, I’ve found it quite entertaining,” she insisted.
“No!” Rob cried, yanking the book back. “I’m curious now and want to see what kind of kinky wanker this guy is!”
“Fine,” she relented. “As long as you don’t get any ideas.”
He waggled his eyebrows playfully before returning to the book.
“”Err...yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.”
Kristen lets out an unladylike snort and Rob glares at her. She rolls her eyes and motions for her to continue.
“”Good.” He releases me and turns me around."
"“Hold onto the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.”
“Oooh, you have to go back and read that scene later. I almost peed myself,” Kristen erupted into giggles again.
“He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what!”
Rob’s eyes bulge out from his head and his face turns green. “Uh...maybe you’d better take over, Kris,” he mutters, thrusting the book back into her hands.
She chuckles, murmuring something about boys not being able to handle things, and takes the book from him.
“And... a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.”
“For Chrissakes, don’t they know you’re not supposed to flush those things?” Rob grumbles. “Hope this guy can afford a plumber.”
“Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all...Jeez. And then he’s inside me...ah! Skin against skin...moving slowly at first...easily, testing me, pushing me...oh my. I grip onto the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me.”
Kristen has to take a breath to control her oncoming giggle fit. Rob is trying, unsuccessfully, not to give into his laughter. “I don’t know whether to thank Tom for sending this or to send him some gay porn as payback,” he chuckles.
“Oh the sweet agony... his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm - in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me... oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.”
“Oh for the love of pete,” Rob grumbles. “He’s definitely getting gay porn.”
Kristen laughs before continuing on with the rest of the passage.
“”That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.
Whoa... and I come, loudly, gripping for dear life onto the sink as I spiral down through my orgasm, everything spinning and clenching at once. He follows, clasping me tightly, his front on my back as he climaxes and calls my name like it’s a litany or a prayer.”
Kristen sighs and tosses the book aside, turning to straddle Rob’s lap. “So, what do you think?” she asks, kissing his chin.
“That was...something else,” he finally said.
She sighed dramatically. “We’re not going to be having sex for awhile, are we?”
-FIN
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